Here, you can find reviews of our previous shows, as written by the bastards themselves! Just click on the appropriate date below to find our show reports. Special shows will be denoted by a descriptor after the date.
Janet – Jessi
Maggie – Manda
Columbia – Ali
Dr. Scott – Joe
Eddie – Ace
Crimmie – Sean
Transies – Beau, Rexy, Baldwin, Tana, Jenny, Brooklyn, Jon
Spot A – Sara
Spot B – Phil Banker
Floorwalkers – Jason, Alex, Cody, David
We move over to coming up to the mansion and see our boy Gus playing the ever creepy riff and damn does he do a good job of it, I mean I like the guy and were friends but damn does he do the job of making my dick shrink when I see him as riff. We step over farther into the movie and see that our lovely manda is playing maggie and all I have to say is GOD DAMN THAT HOTNESS. OMG now its time for time warp, the whole audience was elated and just going nuts to dance to this, I loved it and so did everyone else. As we make our way to the last part of the song we see ali in all of her tallness spinning around like a sparkly spin top which will catch anyones eye.
Rain, cold, family…none of those things can stop Los Bastardos from putting on a damn show! Outside was a wet chilly wasteland, but inside the Inwood it was a delightfully toasty evening filled with good times and libations. So…naked people boozing it up and touching each other! The way the Pilgrims intended! Thanks, Squanto!
Before we begin, here’s the lineup:
Frank n Furter: Beau
Riff Raff: Jon
Dr. Scott: Pete
Transies: Ace, Haley, Heather, Henry, Javier, Jessi, Manda, Mason, Rex, Tana
Floorwalkers: Jason, Phil, Cody
Tech/Sound/Props/Etc: Phil, Sara, Danny, Joe, Wolf, Cody, Gus, Ace, Eris, Paul
It being a holiday show we had some people out, but like a Hydra, we always have a couple more heads to grow out and put on some panties. And much like the holidays, some old familiar faces showed up! First and foremost, Beau made his first appearance as Frank on an LB stage since 2009! Back when people were playing Playstation 2! He rocked faces as Frank, while still managing to be gross. Which makes Danny gross, because Danny was ALL UP in his business leading up into floor show. Shudder. We also had Biondini back from hiatus to step into Columbia’s blue socks once more! Check out some of the faces she was making all night, it’s pretty much the best. We also had an appearance from The Cody Show, not only whipping the audience into a frenzy all night, but Eddie’ing up and thrusting Biondini into the air for yet another amazing lift! He can hold her up there for six hours, it’s true. And last but not lease…well, it wasn’t a return but it was a debut: Fleep as Rocky! And seriously, no one would have been able to guess that it was his first time on stage, because he nailed it. And got nailed…by KYLE!Kyle is a great Janet, and not only did she make her debut doing virgin games (and facilitating Jon getting his nipples and entire chest licked thoroughly by a great virgin), but she’s an adorable (and violent) Janet. She flipped Fleep over 180 degrees and pounded the everloving SHIT out of him in the tank during Toucha. But it was okay, because then during Superheroes, she flipped herself over 360 degrees while crawling over a very lucky audience member, and then had to grab a throw pillow to cover her shame pillows. And he probably needed one of his own to cover his shame boner. Kyle and Ali also make for an adorkable Brad and Janet combo, which pairs nicely with the sexy ginger Riff and Maggie combo of Jon and Jenny. Jenny doesn’t get to be Magenta as often as we’d all like (aka, daily), but her and her Venus Flytrap lashes were in full bloom and many panties were moistened on that day. Pete did yeoman’s work as Dr Scott, and Gussie was once more teleporting Crimmie, and no one will ever understand how he gets into position for the final scene of the movie. NO ONE. Enjoy the photos from this show, and join us next time at the Inwood – December 26th for some Boxing Day fun!
Show Report: Halloween Weekend 2015 at the Inwood!
By Phil Banker
Oh, and that rube from earlier made his debut as Riff. He’s alright.
Saturday night saw the prodigal Baldwin return as Rocky! We haven’t seen his glorious golden ass in too long. Johnny Fuckin’ Felder made a once in a blue moon appearance as he is wont to do. All that swooning and fainting Jessi did? That’s not acting, she’s just reacting to Johnny. But goodness, who doesn’t act that way!
Show Report: 10-23-15 Halloween at the Ridglea
9-18-15 Ridglea and 9-19-15 Inwood Show Report
By Phil Banker
FRIDAY NIGHT CAST:
Brad: Johnny Felder
Dr. Scott: Joe
The Criminologist: Eris
TRANSIE ARMY: Brooklyn, Rex, Fleep, Megaaaaan, Javier, Mason, Kyle
TECH/SOUND/GRIP: Danny, Sara Darling, Sean, Pete, Joe, Paul, Brent, Phil Banker
FLOORWALKERS: Jason, Sean, Phil Banker
Wow, that show was so great, it took weeks to write about it! That’s how we roll in LB: we’re procrastilicious!
Our Inwood show on August 22 was dedicated to one of our loyal fans, Izzy! Izzy’s had a rough time of it lately, following a liver transplant made necessary by Wilson’s disease. She’s been coming to the show with her family for a long time, and her folks came up to us and asked if we could help her out any. We live in America and as such life-saving medical procedures cost money, and they asked if we’d be willing to help raise some cash to help defray the costs.
Contrary to what you might have heard, Los Bastardos isn’t exclusively made up of heartless monsters, so we jumped at the chance to help a fan because that’s what family does, damn it. Izzy’s mom put on a extra-special belly dance performance before we kicked our show off, and we donated our profits for the evening to Izzy’s care fund. She’s a sweet kid, a skilled cosplayer and devoted fan, so if you’ve got the cash to spare swing on over to Izzy’s page at http://www.cotaforisobelt.com/ or look up “A Liver for Izzy” on Facebook!
What was the other big news for the Aug. 22 show? JOHNNY FUCKIN’ FELDER, that’s what. Yes, the man so loved by Los Bastardos it’s practically a meme at this point returned for the first time in many many moons to play everyone’s favorite asshole, Brad. That sound you were hearing during floorshow was panties throughout the theater being ripped off and flung in the general direction of the stage (and probably some man-ties too, because Rocky).
Other people were there too! Jenny was Frank and was perfect! Jessi was Janet and was adorable! Gus creeped around as Riff and Manda played the hottest domestic this side of Transylvania. Super Sexy Sean came back as Rocky, Pete played everyone’s favorite rock-and-roll zombie Eddit and the ever-talented Ali took time out of her incredibly busy schedule to play Columbia!
Making his stage debut (at least I think it’s his debut, watch this space for Leah yelling at me to fix it) was Joe as Dr. Scott! Joe spends most of his time sitting behind our lightboard, when he’s not driving across the country or building new stuff for us in his garage. What a stand-up guy! Well, what a sit-down guy, in this case. You know, because Dr. Scott.
Anyway, we’ve got a lot of stuff coming up soon! We’ve got a show at the beautiful Ridglea Theater on Sept. 18, followed by a show at the Inwood on Sept. 19! The week after we’re packing our bags and headed to wreck NYC with our drunken shenanigans at the 40th Rocky Horror Convention! Will we survive? Stay tuned and find out!
Show Report for August 8th 2015, by Phil Banker
Rocky: Super Sexy Sean
Dr. Scott: Gregg
The Criminologist: Eris
TECH/SOUND/PROPS/GRIP: Carrie, Jennifer, Danny, Pete, Sean, Baldwin, Joe, Paul, Phil, Madame Leah
TRANSIE ARMY: Baldwin, Fleep, Javier, Haley, Manda, Rainbow, Mason, Rex, Kyle, Jon, Sidney
FLOORWALKERS: Alex, Jason, Phil, Sean
Take the loud, rowdy and likely hammered crowd from last week at the Texas Theatre and multiply it several times over, and you’d have something approximating the screaming hordes that filled the Ridglea Theatre on Aug. 8. What a show! What a crowd! What a great venue to watch us in and get summarily drunk!
We always try to bring a little bit extra to the Ridglea, it being such a classy joint and all. Luckily the lovely ladies of the Glitterati Revue joined us to open the show with several burlesque acts for your enjoyment. It’s like stripping, but way classier. Especially when you’re wearing nothing but pasties and a monocle. (Note: I don’t know if this has been done or not, but if it hasn’t, you’re welcome ladies)
LB kicked off our show with a set of pre-shows both old and new, including Baldwin doing “Jizz in my Pants,” Leah and several other cast gentlemen doing “Call Me Maybe,” several lovely cast ladies surrounding Pete for “Peacock,” and unfortunately the return of “Soccer Practice,” this time with Mason playing the part of the poor straight man falling to Sean the Gay Pimp’s clutches. It wasn’t me this time, so I consider it a success!
This week’s Virgin games was “Fuck Like a Bastard,” in which virgins race Bastards to see who could pop balloons with their hideous pelvic gyrations. The Bastards won (naturally) but we gave prizes to the virgins anyway because, well, Jason brought a bigass can of yams and he didn’t want to take it home.
Performing in the Ridglea is always unique, because the staff there treats us like rockstars. We, in turn, do our best to put on a rock star show, and our cast did not disappoint. Everyone was on point this week, especially our newest Janet, Jessi. She really knocked us out of our seat! Well, not us, some other guy. I think he’s okay, because there’s many worse things that can happen to you than getting knocked to the floor by a pretty young lady.
Other things happened as well! Brooklyn did the lift! Sean carried Jenny legs first for death scene! People laughed at my Mad Max reference! One of the really hot Transies took her pants off! This is just a sampling of the fun you missed out on! But don’t fret, we’re coming back to Dallas for our Aug. 22 show at the Inwood Theatre!
Los Bastardos: same great taste, less filling.