Here, you can find reviews of our previous shows, as written by the bastards themselves! Just click on the appropriate date below to find our show reports. Special shows will be denoted by a descriptor after the date.
Show report for Friday October 28th
Halloween at the Inwood Pt. 1
Report by Jason
Must stay awake…must submit show report before I sleep and forget everything. First off, the lineup:
Riff Raff: Gus
Columbia: Madame Leah
Dr. Scott: Pete
Transies: Heather, Hary, Snowflake, London, Keely, Jon, Lyndi, and Megaaaan!!!
Floorwalkers: Jason, Cody, Jeremy, and David
Tech/Sound/Props: Danny, James, Austin, Paul, Jeremy, Sean, and Madame Leah
First off, the Inwood kicks ass. ALL THE ASS. The management has been hella nice to us, they love Rocky and Rocky people. Plus, the room where we perform is full of couches and love seats. Comfy ass furniture, and Nutsacks (Lovesacs, actually), so everyone had their own private cuddle party going on. We got a little of a late start getting the audience seated, but we have a LOT of stuff to set up, plus Johnny Depp should have made a shorter fucking flick. Luckily, we’ve got some patient peeps (and we had their money), so we got everybody in and immediately dancing. We can’t have Halloween without some preshows though, so we had the Bastard Boys doing “Soccer Practice” (always popular/gay), and then Madame Leah channeled her inner Ke$ha (which I think is done by not washing your cooch for a week or two) along with Snow and Cody for “Cannibal”. After that, I Nyan Cat’d my way on stage to do rules with Charles. Madame Leah was getting all sexed up to play Columbia, so that meant the triumphant return of Triple Fake Leah for announcements. Then it was time for our Halloween costume contest, in which Zombie Snow White won a squeaker over an Eskim-ho and a I don’t remember I’m tired dammit. Lyndi made some virgins play theHuman Centipede variation of Suck the Cream out of the Twinkie, which is as horrible and scarring as it sounds. We got the movie started, and it happened.
Holy balls, you people were loud. Which is awesome. People were firing out all kinds of screamer lines, clapping, shouting, Time Warping, and checking out my ass (You know who you are). It’s amazing how much closer you can get to the audience when everybody’s all sacked out in some comfy ass couches. Toilet paper flew like the birds of Capistrano. We found toast EVERYWHERE. During bedroom scene, Frank went spelunking in Brad’s ass, and found all kinds of loot. None of it purple though. Remembering things is harrrrrrrd. There were hot girls rubbing up on each other for Toucha. That was awesome. And Megaaaan was here from Austin! We love her! And um…Leah had what was maybe a new floorshow corset, and her boobs were all kinds of trying to escape from it. And Charles did the lift with her, and held her up straight for like a minute, trying to shake her tits out of her top like he was getting the last bit of ketchup out of the bottle. And then everybody went to Ol South except the three of us who had to go back to Denton, cause driving that far out of the way suuuuuuuucks. 😦 But I got Whataburger. Honey BBQ chicken strip sammich for the goddamn win.
Show report for Saturday October 15th
Frisco Show #2
Report by Jason
Riff Raff: Gussie
Dr. Scott: Pete
Transies: James, Madame Leah, Keely, Jon, and Snowflake
Tech/Sound/Props: Paul, Daviid, Danny, Jeremy, Nuggett, and James
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, and Sean
First off, and most importantly: GOOOOOOOO RANGERS!!!!!!!! As we were all driving to the show, the Rangers hammered the Tigers to win the ALCS and go to the World Series for the second year in a row. This message was brought to you by Danny, James, Nuggett, Gus, and Jason, aka the only people at the show who care about sports.
Now, to the show. From the lineup above, you may have noticed that we were low on Transies. Well, we were hit by the illness/employment bug Saturday night, but each Transie (including a returning James!!!) did the work of eight Transies, so it was like having 40 Transies on stage without the problem of 40 people sharing a dressing room. Which, by the way, the Frisco Arts Center has a sweet dressing room. We can get all naked and made up without having to dodge theater patrons who want to poop. It’s a good thing.
Preshow was me (Jason) and Madame Leah, who everyone loves to see talking more. I demanded juice boxes during rules, and I have yet to recieve one. *madface* Lyndi made some virgins (including an actual virginal virgin) play Gay Chicken, to hilarious results. The virginal virgin was damn cute too, so maybe she won’t stay a virgin for long. Unless she wants to stay one, which is totally okay, cause sex is weird and scary and sometimes it’s with Wes.
Speaking of Wes, he pulled double Frank duty this weekend, which is taxing enough as is. Then Sean bit his weiner, which is just as painful as it sounds like it would be. We had a great crowd, some hot hot ladies were putting the goods on display for us, both before and during the show. Mmm…the goods…
We got some audience girls into the show too, with one lovely redhead in between Bizah and Lyndi for Toucha, and a couple of gorgeous gals to help out during dinner scene. Come to the show, show off your rack, and get to be part of the experience; ain’t nothing wrong with that.
We all had a great time this weekend, and the best part is, we’ve got two more weekends of back-to-back shows coming up. One more weekend in Frisco (Oct 21st and 22nd), and then the Inwood Theater Oct 28th and 29th. Come to any of the four shows, or preferably all of them!
Show report for Friday October 14th
Frisco Show #1
Report by Jason
So after a long layoff, we’re back in business. What’s Halloween season without your favorite mostly naked band of misfits? This year, we’re breaking new ground and popping Frisco’s cherry. Frisco has a swank new performing arts center, and they invited us to come out and do a few shows…you know, for the children. Los Bastardos is for the children. It’s a very nice facility, with air conditioning and dressing rooms and a nice big backstage area. We may just have to lock ourselves in and refuse to ever leave.
So, the lineup:
Riff Raff: Gus
Dr. Scott: Pete
Transies: Hary, Heather, Jon, London, Madame Leah, and Snowflake
Tech/Sound/Props: Daviid, James, Paul, Austin, Danny, Donna, and Nuggett
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, and Sean
First off, once again this was an awesome venue. Secondly, it was great to see so many of our regulars come out to support us at our Frisco debut! That included some old cast members (because you can quit, but you can never leave) who came out to say hi and rub their bottom on us. Preshow featured some rockin tunes and a lot of people dancing in the wide open stage area. See, we’re in what’s known as a “Black Box” theater (aka, the most hilarious of all possible names for a theater), so the audience is seated on three walls, then we perform on the fourth wall, and there’s a big space in the middle suitable for roller derby or crisco twister. Jason and Jeremy kicked off preshow with a spirited reading of the rules, then Lyndi scarred some Friscoites (Friscans? Friskies?) by making them orally slide condoms on bananas. A good lesson…you don’t want any surprise banana babies.
Movie starts, and it was business as usual. The business of face-rocking, that is. Ashley found out that the stage floor is a little more slippery than the dried soda goo we’re used to. Wes has eaten a sandwich or two since we last performed, so you should come and see what he looks like with a pooch. That’s a fetish somewhere. Sean was Strippin’ Crimmie (an LB tradition, apparently) and Eris and Gus and Lyndi were a happy whiteface family.
I’m not gonna lie, I was surprised at how well the performance went. We’ve been idle for a few months, but apparently people have the ability to watch the movie at home, on some kind of magical disk system. Voodoo, says I. Last night was silky smooth, and tonight (I assume everyone is reading this between 5am and 11pm on Saturday, October 15th) will be even better somehow. The venue is really sweet, and whether you’re a local or coming in from the Dallas suburbs (or hell, go nuts and make the drive from Ft Worth), you’re going to have a great time. IN YOUR PANTS
Show report for Friday March 18th
Report by Jason
As Los Bastardos drifts aimlessly, looking for a new theater, we still get to do our super-fun convention shows. This weekend was one of our favorites; All-Con!!! This con is small but mighty, and they always treat us right. We’ve been performing here since Year 2 of the con, and it’s great seeing them grow (and they grew a shit-ton this year!) every year. We started off by hosting a Rocky Horror panel Friday evening, a few hours before the show. If you’re new to Rocky, or just curious, you get a lot of information packed into that hour. We talk costuming, audience participation, backstage tidbits, etc. No stone goes unturned, to be sure. After that, we all got geared up and set up our trailer-load of props and such in the ballroom (heh heh…ball) for the show.
People were lined up early, and most of them in some kind of costume (which is awesome). Once they got inside, we had the sound system bumping (which I’m told is urban slang for “turned up loud”), and people dancing in their seats and up on stage. In addition, we had a few special preshows; this year it was Cody, Mary, and Ashley doing an encore of “A Man’s Gotta Do” from Dr. Horrible (which got a great reaction last year and this year). Later on, Cody and Ashley did a choreographed routine to “Good Girls Gone Bad”, and Adrienne did a burlesque striptease to…well, I wasn’t paying attention to the song. But it was a song. And although she was opening her umbrella indoors, I think she still managed to get lucky. We also had a stage full of Mandalorians dancing to “Fett’s Vette”, and a stage full of ladies (including derby girls and a burlesque lady) dancing too. Guess which I liked more?
Songs were over, and Mary and I came up to the Pokemon theme song to do rules, although we went a little long so that the audience could keep singing along. GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!! The standing room only crowd was digging things, especially once Madame Leah took the stage in all her corsetted glory. Oh, the hotness. The hot hot hotness. Mary forced a couple of boys to do unspeakable things with tampons and bouncy balls, so we shall not speak of them.
Movie started, and things occured. By these people:
Riff Raff: Gussie
Dr. Scott: Pete
Transies: Abby, Adrienne, Britt, Heather, Jon, Kelci, Kris, Kristina, Kyle, Mary, Snowflake, Keely, and Alicia
Tech/Props/Sound: Paul, Austin, Nuggett, Sean, Jeremy, Cody, Charles, Joseph, and Donna
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, Cody, and Canadian Dave
Good moments from the show: Four Mandos lifting Dr. Scott (wheelchair and all) onto the stage (with BRAWWWWWWN!!!), Transies scattering all through the audience while being chased by Eddie, Cody achieving a perfect lift with Lyndi (you could have built a house with that 180 line), umm, boobs? I’m forgetting a lot, but that’s because the show doesn’t end with the show.
Yes, All-Con is where we host an epic suite party every year after the show is over. This year, the theme was “Let’s have our ridiculously hot Bastard girls in lingerie”, and a better theme was never conceived, ever. The music was loud, the people were loud, I brought hummus. The drinking (yes, free booze) and dancing went on until the wee hours of the morning. Although technically, they also started in the wee hours of the morning. And then hotel security shut us down, because we were JUST TOO AWESOME. I assume roving packs of alcoholics just wandered the floors of the hotel for the rest of the night.
Anyway, it was a great crowd, a great show, and a great weekend for those of us who stayed for the rest of the convention. We’re already looking forward to All-Con 2012, which is definitely a great time if you’re into stuff. Next year, get yourself a badge and a hotel room, come out and see us, then nerd out the rest of the weekend. FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Show report for Friday February 25th
Furry Fiesta 2011!!!
Report by Jason
This was an exciting/nervous show for us. First off, it was the first time we’d performed since the Austin show. Secondly, it was a convention show, which a lot of our newbies had never done before (and which has its own set of challenges…like unpacking and transporting a full trailer packed with our prop goodies). Thirdly, it was Furry Fiesta, which we were performing at for the very first time, so we had no idea what to expect. Would we be ninja glomped?
As it turns out, very little glomping. And I think only a few of us were yiffed (and they were TOTALLY asking for it, by the way). The Furry Fiesta crowd was GREAT, and hopefully we’ll add it to our list of annual convention shows, assuming they invite us back ❤
However, before we get to the show, we had preshow shenanigans to get to. While our animal-themed transies were out selling to the loooooong line of people waiting to get in, we were cranking up the disco music. Yes, this year’s theme was “Disco Infurno” (I’ll let you locate the pun), so along with some of our general LB dance classics, we were also digging through the oldies bin (i.e. Donna and Nuggett’s music cabinets) and fired up some YMCA, Macho Man, etc. to get the party rockin.
We also had Gusgus all Russell Brand’d out as Aldous Snow, doing “Stroke the Furry Wall” from “Get Him to the Greek”. If you’ve seen the movie, it’s a hilarious homage to that scene. If not, then you were confused as Gus in a wig and fishnet shirt stumbled his way through the audience, lipsyncing into a fake microphone and molesting people at random. Next time he does it, smoke a Geoffrey first, you’ll thank me.
So, dancing accomplished, it was time to talk a lot. Jeremy and I took the stage, and awkwardly banged out the rules. It’s always interesting doing the rules at a convention, since half of them don’t seem to apply in the same way. Still, whatever it takes to avoid a handful of rice to the eyes is all good. I also managed to imply that I pleasure myself to Rugrats, which just isn’t true. The Price is Right, perhaps, but not Rugrats. Then Madame Leah came up to the “I’m a cougar” ad, which cracked us up, but not her. And in fairness, she’s like a toddler cougar, at best. She is young and pretty, not old and leathery like cougars are. Maybe she’s a jaguar. Or a liger. They’re bred for their magical prowess. Mary came up to scar some special virgins, and quiz them all things naughty. Then I made the audience pledge their undying loyalty to a 40 year old movie, and we were off!
And here was our cast for the evening:
Riff Raff: Nuggett
Dr. Scott: Charles
Transies: Abby, Alicia, Heather, Jon, Kelci, Kristina, Kyle, Lyndi, Mary, Rex, Snowflake, and Keely
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, Canadian Dave, and Cody
Tech/Sound/Props/Security: Paul, Austin, Donna, Jeremy, Danny, Cody, Wes, Charles, Canadian Dave, Joseph, Daviid, and Madame Leah
So the shows starts, and already from the room setup, this was going to be an interesting one. Normally we perform directly in front of the screen, so you can watch the movie and our actors at the same time, and see how good we are at being screen accurate ( 😀 ). This time, the screen was located off to the right side of the room, so you could watch us, or the movie, but not both (unless you had a lazy eye or something). That wasn’t terrible though, because our cast is so awesome (HOW AWESOME ARE THEY???), that we are like a whole show unto ourselves. So instead of a strict shadowcast, it was a little more like a play. It also made it a little more difficult to floorwalk, since a lot of our lines are based off of seeing something specific on screen, but the people on the right side of the room REALLy got to appreciate those lines (when we forgot about the small screen and fired off a line on instinct). Also, we had some people on that side who were pretty familiar with the screamers, which made for more noisy fun overall.
So the show was trucking along in an awesome way. Always great to see Ashley’s Janet, which I had personally missed, and Gus makes a nerdy Brad even with his haircurtains. They got to play with a Ralph and Betty who were two guys in matching tiger pajamas. Well, some kind of full body suit, but not full on mascot costume like you also see at a Furry gathering. I’m sure there’s a name for it. Nuggett was back from his foot injury to play Riff, and Bizah was her usually sexpot Maggie self. Adrienne went from sexy Trixie to sexy Columbia with just a few changes in costume (from little, to less) as well. Then there’s Britt and his wacky waxed mustache, making Frank looks like some transvestite silent movie villain, like he’s going to tie Janet to the railroad tracks.
We didn’t have the sheets for the bedroom scenes (thanks Gus/Jeremy!), so we improvised…with full frontal nudity. Wait, that was just in my mind. I mean, with comedy! Ashley tagged out to a lucky audience member, who got to make sweet love to Britt. Gus was not so lucky, as they reenacted the first Olympiad by doing some Greco-Roman homoeroticism, and then Britt pinned Gus for a three count. It was…hot?
So after everybody gets laid, Dr. Scott shows up to drop some knowledge and then eat Cody. Wes is a tiny Rocky, but he was a fuzzy one so it counts. Rex made toilet paper sculptures for people, because that’s what he does. People in fursuits must have been dying of heatstroke inside their suits, but they didn’t show it, which is impressive.
And that’s pretty much the show! The pictures are more fun, as they almost have boobs in them. Thanks to Furry Fiesta for having us out, and we hope to be back next year!
Also, All-Con is coming up March 18th (Friday night), so if you’re reading this before then, come on out and see us!
Show report for Saturday January 15th 2011
Queer Bastards Show
Report by Jason
Hi all, man has it really been a month since the last show report? Well, yes, beacuse it’s been a month since the last show.
(Note: if you are reading this in the future, LB parted ways with the Ridgmar Movie Tavern, and at the time of this writing, were homeless)
However, we’d already planned on splitting our gargantuan cast in twain so we could visit Austin’s Queerios (www.austinrocky.org), our sister cast, and perform with them. But since the rest of us were now left with a gaping hole in our Saturday night, a lot of us decided to make the trip too! As best as I can remember it, here’s the lineup:
Riff Raff: Gus
Magenta: Emily (Queerio)
Rocky: Renn (Queerio)
Eddie: Shawn (Queerio)
Dr. Scott: Pete
Criminologist: Pengwan (Queerio)
Transies: A fuckton of people from both casts
Floorwalkers: A slightly smaller fuckton of people from both casts
Thanks to Queerios and the Alamo Drafthouse for their hospitality, as always. Also thanks to some of our Losbians who drove down to see us play, as well as the rest of the sold out Austin crowd who got to see a hell of a performance.
Our weekend, however, started early as a lot of us came down Friday night and partied with the Queerios as only Rocky people can…by killing our emotions with booze! Afterwards, we woke up at the crack of noon and got some food and did some shopping for hipster clothing. I, on the other hand, left Saturday afternoon at a reasonable time and caught the flu, possibly while standing outside in the rain eating a taco at a sketchy looking truck across the highway from the Czech Stop. Good decisions…what do those two words mean?
So Saturday night came…okay, before the show, a few of us saw Patton Oswalt at the Paramount and it was FUCKING AWESOME. I just wanted to rub that in. SUCK IT!!!
Okay, so now Saturday night came for reals. The audience was already lined up outside the theater by the time we got there (just like home!), and we set up our stuff and did a quick run-through of some of the blocking. Some of the cast came down to watch, rather than perform, because our full cast plus Queerios cast would have spanned the width of two theaters. Seriously…lot of fucking people there.
So the Queerios have a way different preshow than we do. First off, they show awesome videos while the audience is coming in (something I’d like to do once we find a new home, if you have any requests), then Shawn does this great call and response preshow that they’ve been doing for years. It’s great to hear the cast and their regulars yelling along to it, although I do enjoy our rules. They also get all of their virgins up to sacrifice (which they had a shit ton of, wow), with simulated butt-fucking for all! That having been taken care of, the movie itself started.
Oh yeah, Megaaaan was there! We miss her ever since she moved back to Austin, but our loss is Queerios gain…which is fair, since they had her first before she moved up to our part of town. We will get her back eventually though, mark our words!!1
So yeah, instead of our Opening Dance, they have Trixies doing Science Fiction Double Feature, and they brought out the big guns for our visit. Five set of big guns, that is. Boobs. By guns, I mean boobs. Five girls in lingerie, who then stripped down to panties and duct tape. Colored duct tape, so when they were standing next to each other, it was like a game of Rock Band that you can masturbate to. By the time the blood came back to my head, some asshole and some slut were doing some good times lesbian shit on stage. I guess gay marriage is legal in Austin, of all places. It’s like a little blue bubble in the middle of Red Texas.
The great thing about doing shows with other casts: It’s still the same goddamn movie, so it’s not all that tricky to interact with new actors. Time Warp was a little cramped, but no one got hurt (much). This is around the time that the flu started to take effect, so I don’t remember much. I remember titties. And Pengwan in a Hannibal Lecter mask, a kilt, a gas mask, duct tape, and OH GOD HE WAS IN PANTIES. Ok, I’m going to try and forget this now. Why does his crotch always try and make its way into my face? Whyyyyyyyyy!!!
So that was our show! Then we went to Jim’s for food, which isn’t Ol’ South, but does serve food, so it is good. Most of us went to bed, except me, who decided that driving home at 4am was an awesome idea. When it was raining. While sick. And tired. But hey, Czech Stop, right?
And that was our Queer Bastards show. Check out the pictures, and check out the Queerios whenever you’re in Austin. They’ve been at the Drafthouse for SIX FUCKING YEARS!!!
As for us, we’ll find a home soon (or if you’re in the future, our new theater is awesome and buys us candy), so keep checking here or Facebook for the latest news!!!
Show report for Saturday December 18th 2010
Report by Jason
Happy holidays everyone! I’m actually writing this on Christmas morning, because I am all alone in the cold. Yes, be sad for me. Anyway, here’s the lineup:
Dr. Scott: Charles
But this is the last show of the year, and Madame Leah hate…err, loves us, so since the crowd was so festive (and so many people were still recovering from Bastard Christmas the night before) she gave us all an early present with a Name out of Hat show!!! Well, Name out of the Small Plastic Cups, but the general idea is still there. So here’s the new lineup:
Frank: Adrienne (Good thing she had the eye makeup on)
Janet: Rex (Not a stretch)
Brad: Ashley (Naughty)
Riff: Sean (Keeping it in the family)
Magenta: Wheels (Dirty)
Columbia: Britt (Him and Adrienne doing the wife swap)
Dr. Scott: Danny (In a dress…courage)
Rocky: Eris (Heh heh heh)
Eddie: Heather (Smaller than the motorcycle)
Crimmy: Wes (Like an elf)
Transies: Abby (Hot), Bizah (Hot), Eleni (New), Jon (Naughty), Keely (Angular), Kelci (New), Kenzie (Not legal yet), Kris (New), Kristina (Legal as of today), Kyle (Cute), London (Cyborg), Lyndi (Adorable), Rachel (Almost naked), and Snowflake (Retarded).
Tech/Sound/Props: Chance, Austin, Mary, Scott, Charles, Paul, Jeremy, Chicago Mike, Sean, and Danny
Floorwalkers: Jason, Cody, Gus, David, and Wes
So the die was cast, and this White Elephant lineup was settled. Charles decided to smart off to Leah, and thus was put in as tag team Frank. The audience looked pretty hot, and the effort was appreciated. We got to see some folks we haven’t seen in forever (YES, I’M TALKING TO YOU!!! HUGS!!!), as well as some special Christmas virgins (who hopefully didn’t front poop out a magic baby this morning) who got to go hunting for hearts around the theater for our amusement, and allegedly for prizes.
So Rex learned to wear more than orange shorts for any potential Hat Show, although he looked like the cutest Hooters waitress EVER. Ashley helped drag him around, but we were all just counting down the minutes until she got to strip down. Awwwww yeahhhhh. That’s the holiday stuff. Her dress was hot though, even with the Brad suit over it. Damn you, Hat!
Sean’s Riffery was present, and Wheels managed to not roll his idiot shoes into anything valuable. Britt has played Columbia before, so it’s kind of like cheating, but it’s still hilarious. Adrienne vamped it up for Sweet T, and was fierce. So here’s the great part, right? Eris was Rocky. Eris usually plays Columbia. Columbia pours glitter on Rocky. Britt plays Rocky sometimes. Eris…got her comeuppance 🙂 Well, she tried hard to escape it, but here’s no escaping GLITTER JUSTICE (My new series with Steven Seagal and Adam Lambert)!!!
So we got a pile of new Transies, and they’re mostly hot girls who totally slutted it up for tonight. That’s some good sluttery, you’ll fit in well. Hopefully no one got herpes for Christmas. Remember Eris? Well, Sean plays Rocky too, and he poured about three handfuls of silver glitter all over Eris. She looked like half a cyborg. It was pretty epic. Retribution can be fun!
So Charles, when on stage as Frank, was wearing a big wrapped box as a costume, with a top flap that made him look like the box was talking. Box related shenanigans are win. Heather surprised us all by being able to actually move the motorcycle, and then Charles jumped in to do the lift with Britt. But then Britt wouldn’t stop screaming, so I beat him to death with my Festivus pole. It’s for the rest of us!
Everybody got candy, then Adrienne came out in her Frosty the Snowman corset. Hot. Sean and Wheels came out in matching shiny red thongs (owwwww, my eyes…they are burning) and shot the place up. It was cold, but we got to have the cast meeting inside! Yay!
Thanks to everyone for a great 2010, and we’ll be back in 2011 to take our pants off and do the helicopter! Also, Gus graduated college, and now he’s officially smart! Merry Christmas, bitches!
Show report for Saturday November 27th 2010
Trytophan, Snowflake and Pete’s Mustache
Report by London
Tryptophan, Snowflake and Pete’s mustache.
(ed note: things Gus likes in this will be smiley faced)
Frank : Cody
Janet : Ashley
Brad : Gussie
Riff : Jon
Magenta : Eris
Columbia : Lyndi
Dr. Scott : Charles
Rocky : Snowflake
Eddie : Pete
Crimi : Sean
I am formatting my show report a tad differently and just going to go through the movie instead of each Character.:-)
Okay, first of all, Sean came up with virgin games… I am sure he thought this out completely. However, the whipping, as kinky and great as tat was with twizzler whips, left FishNChipsPaul bleeding from the head and with a giant bump. I mean, I lol’d hard at the whipping but damn girls, you beat the shit out of him. (next time just aim for the ass, mmk?)
Opening through Trees.
Opening dance went great, Snow made an interesting creature. When it came time for gravestones, they actually came out ON TIME tonight. so WTG transies who were doing the gravestones.
Scott is a ninja and does tons of shit
The song Dammit Janet seemed to have been sung by the entire audience. YAY LOUD AUDIENCE. ❤ Also, I loved Ashley’s very happy Janet. It made me smile.
Sometime around this point, Wes made a funny and the entire left side of the theatre cracked up, so Awesome jobs Wes. SEAN as Crimi was very elegant, and classy. Well, in the beginning at least. It was hot. scott is a ninja and does tons of shit no one sees
HOLYSHITBATMAN LOOK AT ALL THE CAR TREES! But then, at the There’s A Light trees, Bizah did the best at trees and she was being abused by Danny. Good Job Bizahhh! Idk what Rex was doing but it made me giggle. Whichever transie did Riff Light sure did love to light Jon’s hair up. 😛
ALL of the newbies that I saw in the isles were doing the time warp that they had been so crazily taught this past week, and most didn’t do a bad job. Kelci in particular, I liked watching you do the Time Warp.
The TimeWarp by the Already on cast transie was interesting and hilarious. One of them failed. and should be punched in the tummy for it. BTW Paul’s make up was slightly awful and creepy in a bad way. Just letting you know. Scott is a damn ninja and is highly underappreciated for all he does
GusGus as he was being undressed, somehow managed to have his cumberbun under his shirt? (ed note. I was in a hurry to take my shirt off during the costume change, I buttoned too many buttons)That takes skill sir. But it was a good laugh and It didn’t mess up Eris, she was on the ball and managed to remove it in a timely manner.
CODY hit Jon in the face with the wine glass at creation scene. I laughed. Jon did not. Chicken Dance was FTW, I never knew the chicken dance could be danced too like a whore but, good job Newbies and some audience that managed that.
My literal notes:
• Snow looks honestly retarded. Good job? 🙂
• wow, the audience is really trying to hit/harm Snowflake 🙂
• Snow you failed to listen to Sean in arm Pump order, but at least you looked confident in what you were doing. Even if it was off.
• Rex was a wonderful horsie. Snow, good job at staying in character while riding Rex….lolScott is a fucking ninja and is awesome.
• I know you had a puppet giving you a hand job, but dont look down, just let it happen.
• Good job over all, it was much more impressive than I thought.
Pete’s mustache was for the goddamn win. It was Doc Holiday meets Santa or something idk. There were a few Transies in the Tank during Eddie Scene having a puppet show. That was so cute! Yay puppetdomination and rape! Good lift with Lyndi.
SNOW BROKE THE EXIT SIGN. EPIC FAIL DUMBASS. ❤ 🙂
The transie chant: “Snowflake’s a faggot rah rah rah.” was giggle win. 🙂
Jon decided to take his pants down and anal-ize Snow as he was lying on the box… We saw Jon’s ass. Yep. 🙂
Rex was just wearing normal undies for Charles Atlas. This was sad.
What was going on? Was Cody tickling Gus? It looked and sounded like it, Gus giggled like a girl then shouted out the word ‘fucker’ so, I am going to go with epic Tickle rape by Cody.
Ashley: “Oh Brad…Is gay!” 😦 lol. That was great. Snow did well at tank scene. Though to be honest, Lyndi and Eris had my eyes distracted for most of that scene. So, needless to say, that was hott.
Then Cody, who is, fyi, a pretty awesome Frank, Came down the isle whipping Jon with a Twizzler Whip. Scott does a lot of shit during the show. That was Hilarious. He hit Jon-riff so hard that the twizzler broke haha. Poor Poor Jon. I hope you are a masochist. (ed note: that shit fucking hurt. No wonder Paul was bleeding. Also, fuck you Jason for bringing those)
Then wheeled down the isle was Charles as Dr. Scott, gangsta styles. He had on his bandana, and talked fully, while still staying somewhat in character, in a ganster, bad ass tones haha. That was my favorite part of the show. Just saying.
Dinner scene. foooood
Snow has a very hairy ass. Like, damn. And he also ate the twizzler from the floor. 🙂 He is probably going to die of stomach malfunction or something. There is probably an aweful mixture of alcohol, greasy food and cum on the floor… oh wait, never mind. He will be fine….
WTG floor walkers that jumped into action to move the big box of death. (ed note: they all fail.)
And then there was Sean’s ass too. Sean, in the end, was only wearing a jacket around his waist exposing his entire ass. 🙂
Scott does all the props and is a ninja. Hug him.
Wtg snow for coming out at the last minute and having your straps on wrong. But glad you didnt faceplant in the floor like we all thought you would. Over all though Snow, for his first time, did a pretty good job as Rocky. He at least didn’t suck. ❤
Kickline started off great, then went all crazy but was fun to watch.
Ending Scene w/Riff and Maggie
Ashley’s corset has a new trick!
While Everyone did a rather great job tonight in light of the Tryptophan, the cold and the holiday weekend, I must say, since I had only seen Ashley’s Janet once, She did the best at her part. Plus, she found a way to make her boobs bounce while standing still 🙂 , come one, that deserves an award alone. lol
Tech was Chance and Austin in Training. And what surprised me, was walking by them, FishNChips was actually teaching Austin and helping him. SO, Good Job FishNChips and Austin.
Nugget broke his foot because he decided to wrestle a bear while camping this past weekend in the alpines. So, if you see him, congratulate him. He only walked away with a broken foot… the bear was not so lucky. 🙂
also, Scott is a ninja. He does all the props and, while not interrupting the show, moves everything to their proper places. Much love to Scott.
Show report for Saturday November 13th 2010
Stuff, Things and Whatnot!
Report by Jeremy
F : Britt
J : Rachel
B : Wes
R : Jon
M : Mary
Co : Adrienne
Dr : Donna
Ro : Sean
E : Pete
Crim : Charles
SA : Paul
SB : Bizah
Board : Nuggett
Sound1 : Jeremy
Sound2 : Danny
FW1 : Cody
FW2 : Jason
FW3 : Jeremy
FW4 : Canadian Dave
PreShow1 : Jason
PreShow2 : Wes
Virgins : Rachel
Piccies : FishNChipsPaul
T1 – Abby
T2 – Ashley
T3 – Gussie
T4 – Heather
T5 – Kyle
T6 – Lyndi
T7 – Rex
T8 – Scott
T9 – Snowflake
T10 – Wheels
Firstly, I’d like to say ‘Thank you’ to our audience for being particularly beastly five freaking weeks in a row! You guys rule.
Secondly, I’d like to thank our guest Trixie, Hope, who came all the way from Minnesota to hang with our band of misfits. Cheers to you as well.
Also, we had a buttfuckton of newbies tonight, who all worked their asses off learning the Time Warp the night before in some genuinely cold weather. Good job newbies!
For virgin games, Rachel had our virgins draw on the backs of some of our transies, in a game Jason dubbed “Pricktionary”. Hilarity ensued with 2 out of 3 of the pictures directly involving a penis.
Our show starts, some lips sing and in front the lovely Hope shows us some skin. Finally the lips go away and we’re shown some shitty wedding. We blaze along through “Dammit Janet” and “There’s a Light” to get to a truly wonderful Time Warp.
Frank decides to reveal his master plan, and Cody, in a moment of genius, gets the entire crowd to collectively “hold their breath” before the applause leading up to creation, sounding off one of the loudest cheers I have ever heard from our crowd. It was beautiful.
Some retard is birthed forth, fucked a few times, and what-do-ya-know, we’re at dinner scene. Benny Hill theme for “Wise Up” was truly epic, with all our newbies and most of the core/transies joining in to create pure pandemonium.
We roll right along through Floorshow, where, to the crowds general approval we get a screen accurate Adrienne-Columbia. Hooray for boobies! Several moments later she gets shot in the tits, and Frank follows suite by taking a Shoop Da Whoop right in the back as Riff went on a lazor chargin’/firin’ spree.
The house takes off in truly dramatic form, through a double rainbow (what does it mean? Seriously, what the fuck?) and the Earthlings are left to be crippled for the rest of their lives(Emotionally, I mean… er… except Dr. Scott, but he started out physically crippled so whatever). Aaaaaaaand that was our show!
Hearts once again to our wonderful audience. See you fuckers next week!
Show report for Saturday November 6th 2010
Report by London
F : Lyndi
J : Mary
B : Britt
R : Madam Leah
M : Gussie
Co : Wes
Dr : Nuggett
Ro : Adrienne
E : Megaaan
Crim : Rachel
Alrighty then! SO This was the Audience LINE-Up show! The audience voted who played what, so if you did not enjoy the show, that was your own damn fault hahaha!
Lyndi-futer was just yummy win. I say this because she was awesome. She rehearsed the part, even the little things, and actually did her best to make it a great role for her. This being her first time as Frank, AND only having one week to learn, she kicked so much tail. When she started singing Sweet Transvestite, the Audience all cheered, and when her cloak came off, they went wild. Might I say, a very beautiful Frank all in all.(Floor Show attire was glorious fyi.) My mind may not have been in the best of places at the show, but did she bring me back to earth! So great. Let’s all bribe for her to play Frank super soon. Like, NOW.:D
Janet as made sexy by Mary, was very wondrous. I am biased, but I was rather happy to see the all-too-bad-ass Mary in a skirt ALL NIGHT, as was tons of audience members… hehe. Well anyway, she kicked booty, at Trees, she did the spins and stops etc the right way and although she would never be with a guy like Britt, or a guy for that matter, she made one hell of a Janet.
Asshole-Britt-Brad, was rather comical to watch. His already over dramatized role in the movie, added to Britt’s naturally silly facial expressions just made the Brad part full of more duschy-ness. (Idk if thats a word or how to spell). Not that Mary is super Short, but Britt be as tall and Mary being her, Britt Looked like a giant ass Brad. So, To the man who went shopping for a single pair of Whitey-Tighties for the show, congrats on a comical and rather hott Brad.
Madam Riff, was um, both seat wetting Hott and Terrifying combined. Her creepy attitude, was spot on, yet also still very mind teasing. I blame her partially braded super long hair. Or just her in general, eh, you pick. I think whichever Transie was RiffLight had the right Idea, instead of having it light up her chin, it was on her boobies about 90% of the time. WTG. That was very cute. Also her rather annoyed look at the chandelier-up-rocky’s-ass scene was priceless. Then again, she was able to bring a back up- Maggie to the stage. :p
Magussie….. Well, damn. Magenta, was indeed played by Gus, the man who should never play a woman. Except maybe a witch. Although, not the worst Magenta ever, no not even close. Actually, his acting was nearly spot on, except for the once he forgot to come on stage. He even did a good job being feminine. However, he was one of the scariest Magenta faces I have ever seen….. His facial features do not make a hot woman. or even a woman. But, again, he acted the part very well, and even had a very cute black Bra on. He donged the gong and made it work. Good job. Mangussie….
Holy Shit it was Wes! Columbia was played by the ever Typical-Frank, WES. And actually he was one of the best Columbia’s I have seen. He may or may not have been trying but he even pulled off the ditsy side too, and his Time Warp was full of Win. Wes Win. The only time I noticed a mistake was when he ran up to the front to the stage with Magenta and Riff for the medusa but that was an easy, an hardly noticeable mistake. If I hadn’t been on the isle and heard Wes say something about it, I would have not even noticed. 🙂
Dr . Nuggett! Makes me think of chicken and Dr. Pepper…. anyway, I did not notice it was Nuggett at first, so audience, that WAS Nuggett, not Charles playing Dr Scott…. He just decided to shave and pull his hair back. Odd Ball. He was a very good German Sex Tutor, both in attitude and notions. ❤ He even pointed with the correct hand!!!!! lol
Adrienne as a bubble, slightly idiotic Rocky? I think yes. Her Rocky was very fun to watch, the only complaint I heard from others and I agree to an extent was lack of clothing. She needed less cloths, though her dress was cute, 🙂 She did a great job as a bubbly, happy “special” Rocky. And she did push ups too, that’s just great. Wes got her back from the many days of Glitter attacks by dumping an entire thing of glitter on her head, making it so hard to focus on anything but her shiny self.
MegaaanEddie! Yea that name doesn’t fit, so Eddie as made possible by Megaaan! I have a huge thing for Eddies, Megaaan only made it worse by how amazing she performed. The random double-Eddie lift was funny. Though I was curious to see her pick up Wes. Her Eddie make-up was great, and her tongue ring made Eddie even more of a bad ass. This might have been my favorite Character tonight…. But it was an Eddie, so thats prolly always going to be true. Fantastic Job Megaaan!
Criminologist Rachel. I will be honest, I was opposite side of the theatre from her, and could not hear her. Though she managed to keep my attention through her stripping the entire show. She had full costume one, dwindled to a white corset and eventually just a bra and panties I think, or maybe pants. I don’t know, I was looking above her waist…. I enjoyed her performance 🙂
There was Transies as always, I liked the Time Warp and Trees, well done. To the 6 of us who had this week’s show off, and all were a little…off mentally, we had a great time, and all the drunkards were shouting like usual so the Floorwalkers were covered. OH! and to the Girl Scout Troop that came, I hope you enjoyed our show…. It was unfortunate you sat in front of all of us who were belligerently shouting awful, and inappropriate things the whole time. And I, in no way meant to offend anyone by saying how much I love eating Brownies….. lol well maybe I did. I don’t remember.
Tech was great I think, I was zoned, but they were smart ones on tech, so they were bound to do good.
Happy Birthday to Cody, Wes, Sean, FishNChips, Jeremy and Myself, London, who all Still showed up to the show though not having too… and most being drunk. ❤