Show Report for August 8th 2015, by Phil Banker
CAST:
Frank: Jenny
Brad: Ali
Janet: Jessi
Riff: Gus
Magenta: Megaaaan
Columbia: Brooklyn
Rocky: Super Sexy Sean
Dr. Scott: Gregg
Eddie: Pete
The Criminologist: Eris
TECH/SOUND/PROPS/GRIP: Carrie, Jennifer, Danny, Pete, Sean, Baldwin, Joe, Paul, Phil, Madame Leah
TRANSIE ARMY: Baldwin, Fleep, Javier, Haley, Manda, Rainbow, Mason, Rex, Kyle, Jon, Sidney
FLOORWALKERS: Alex, Jason, Phil, Sean
Take the loud, rowdy and likely hammered crowd from last week at the Texas Theatre and multiply it several times over, and you’d have something approximating the screaming hordes that filled the Ridglea Theatre on Aug. 8. What a show! What a crowd! What a great venue to watch us in and get summarily drunk!
We always try to bring a little bit extra to the Ridglea, it being such a classy joint and all. Luckily the lovely ladies of the Glitterati Revue joined us to open the show with several burlesque acts for your enjoyment. It’s like stripping, but way classier. Especially when you’re wearing nothing but pasties and a monocle. (Note: I don’t know if this has been done or not, but if it hasn’t, you’re welcome ladies)
LB kicked off our show with a set of pre-shows both old and new, including Baldwin doing “Jizz in my Pants,” Leah and several other cast gentlemen doing “Call Me Maybe,” several lovely cast ladies surrounding Pete for “Peacock,” and unfortunately the return of “Soccer Practice,” this time with Mason playing the part of the poor straight man falling to Sean the Gay Pimp’s clutches. It wasn’t me this time, so I consider it a success!
This week’s Virgin games was “Fuck Like a Bastard,” in which virgins race Bastards to see who could pop balloons with their hideous pelvic gyrations. The Bastards won (naturally) but we gave prizes to the virgins anyway because, well, Jason brought a bigass can of yams and he didn’t want to take it home.
Performing in the Ridglea is always unique, because the staff there treats us like rockstars. We, in turn, do our best to put on a rock star show, and our cast did not disappoint. Everyone was on point this week, especially our newest Janet, Jessi. She really knocked us out of our seat! Well, not us, some other guy. I think he’s okay, because there’s many worse things that can happen to you than getting knocked to the floor by a pretty young lady.
Other things happened as well! Brooklyn did the lift! Sean carried Jenny legs first for death scene! People laughed at my Mad Max reference! One of the really hot Transies took her pants off! This is just a sampling of the fun you missed out on! But don’t fret, we’re coming back to Dallas for our Aug. 22 show at the Inwood Theatre!
Los Bastardos: same great taste, less filling.
losbastardos.com 
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