Show report by Phil Banker
Frank – Jenny
Brad – Gus
Janet – Jessi
Riff – Jon
Magenta – Manda
Columbia – Brooklyn
Rocky – Baldwin
Eddit – Rainbow
Dr. Scott – Pete
The Criminologist – Eris
TECH/SOUND/GRIP/PROPS Carrie, Sara Darling, Super Sexy Sean, Rainbow, Danny, Joe
TRANSIE ARMY Ali, Kyle, Fleep, Haley, Rexy, Mason, Javier
FLOORWALKERS Alex, Super Sexy Sean, Phil Banker
It’s the dog days of summer, so what better way to cool off AND turn up the heat than with a Rocky Horror beach party! Los Bastardos brought all the appeals of a beach to the Inwood Theatre on July 25, without all the downsides of sharks, jellyfish, pointy sand, dolphins, irresponsible boaters, and the only sand in sight is whatever your ex-girlfriend brought in her vagina.
What we did provide was bikinis, mankinis, inbetweenkinis and a whole lot of goofy pool accessories, delighting a theatre full of pseudo-beachgoers. Let’s be real here: you’re always likely to see some skin at a Los Bastardos show, so why not have some fun with it?
We departed from the theme a little bit for this weeks virgin games in light of this week’s news regarding Hulk Hogan. Several Bastards are very big wrestling fans, and news that Hulk Hogan is actually a racist sack of shit hit us all hard. If, by hit us all hard, you mean “made us laugh uncontrollably in a storm of internet memes.” Naturally, this show’s virgin game had Gus forcing contestants to dotheir best Hulk Hogan impression by tearing off a t-shirt. By the end of the contest one lucky winner walked away with a framed photo of the Hulkster and a t-shirt as dead as his career!
Saturday’s show saw the debut of Jessi as our newest Janet! Despite her young age Jessi is a veteran stage performer, so it was no surprise she took to slutting it up for us like a duck to water. Gus did a great job dragging her along as Brad, but Jessi held her own molesting Baldwin as Rocky and rocked it in the floor show. We can’t wait to see what else she can show us.
Also debuting this past Saturday was Phil Banker as floorwalker. Me. I can’t speak objectively as to how well I did, but I managed to keep a group of about ten drunk 40-year-olds alternating between laughing and groaning for the whole show, so I’ve got comedy skills on par with the average early afternoon Vegas warm up comic. It’s a start!
Crowd favorite Jenny returned as Frank-n-Furter, alongside Brooklyn, Manda and Jon as Columbia, Magenta and Riff-Raff, respectively. Rainbow appeared as everyone’s half-dead rock-and-roll zombie Eddie and Alpha Beard Pete played Dr. Scott complete with his now-trademark body stocking for floor show. It’s a good thing so many people came out in their beach clothes, because everyone went home wet(and for once it wasn’t because of broken A/C in the theatre)!
If you missed out on this show, fret not: we’ve got three shows scheduled before we ship off to New York City in September for Rocky Con. We’ll be at the Texas Theatre at 10:30 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 1, followed by our third show at the Ridglea Theatre in Fort Worth on Aug. 8, complete with a burlesque show beforehand!
Our socks are soaked, but our pants are bone dry: everything’s coming up LB!