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0 Photos: August 8th 2015, Ridglea Theatre

Photos from our show on August 8th, 2015 at the Ridglea Theatre

0 Show Report: August 1st, 2015 Texas Theatre

Show report by Jason

CAST:

Frank: Jenny
Brad: Gus
Janet: Jessi
Riff: Jon
Magenta: Megaaaan
Columbia: Brooklyn
Rocky: Super Sexy Sean
Dr. Scott: Gregg
Eddie: Pete
The Criminologist: Eris

TRANSIE ARMY: Baldwin, Cameron, Fleep, Javier, Haley, Rex, Mason, Rainbow

TECH/SOUND/GRIP/PROPS: Phil Banker, Sara Darling, Danny, Sean, Cody, Baldwin, Madame Leah, Pete, Paul

FLOORWALKERS: Jason, Alex, Phil Banker, Cody, Sean

We could get used to these early shows. Kicking off the proceedings at 10:30 p.m. gives us enough time to put on an awesome show, thrill an audience, pack up, get some food in us and get home before sunrise. The audience last Saturday at the Texas Theatre seemed to approve as well, as they were one of the most excited and energetic crowds we’ve had in a long time!

That or it was the booze. Or the historic venue. Or the fact that our cast is easily the best looking in Texas. Either way, the next crowd has big shoes to fill.

One of the highlights of this week’s pre-show antics was the magical box of butts! Somehow, we got a hold of a box full of small foam butts. There was no way we could keep this treasure trove to ourselves, so not only were the little foam butts given away as virgin game prizes, but Alex just started throwing tiny butts at random audience members. See? When you come to a Los Bastardos show, you’re bound to get a little ass.

Speaking of virgin games, this week marked the return of a classic LB game, where our contestants have to Lady and the Tramp a twizzler between the two of them. Brooklyn found the perfect couple of frat bros to awkwardly do it, while two girls went at it in a version of the game we call “Please Just Do It.” Everybody wins!

The bubbly-as-always Jenny played Frank, once again playing the character probably the most unlike how she is in real life. Gus and Jenni played everyone’s least favorite innocents Brad and Janet, while cast veterans Jon and Megaaaaan played Riff and Magenta. Brooklyn returned as Columbia, and nailed “the lift” better than ever before, with more than a little help from Pete as Eddie. Brooklyn dealt with the bird, and dealt with it hard.

We’re keeping this party going this Saturday at the Ridglea Theatre, with special guests Glitterati Revue putting on a burlesque set before our show! Doors open at 8 with the burlesque show starting at 8:45, and we’ll hit the stage at 10! Get your tickets now, because it’s going to be one hell of a show!

0 Show Report: July 25, 2015 Inwood Theatre

Show report by Phil Banker

CAST
Frank – Jenny
Brad – Gus
Janet – Jessi
Riff – Jon
Magenta – Manda
Columbia – Brooklyn
Rocky – Baldwin
Eddit – Rainbow
Dr. Scott – Pete
The Criminologist – Eris

TECH/SOUND/GRIP/PROPS Carrie, Sara Darling, Super Sexy Sean, Rainbow, Danny, Joe

TRANSIE ARMY Ali, Kyle, Fleep, Haley, Rexy, Mason, Javier

FLOORWALKERS Alex, Super Sexy Sean, Phil Banker

It’s the dog days of summer, so what better way to cool off AND turn up the heat than with a Rocky Horror beach party! Los Bastardos brought all the appeals of a beach to the Inwood Theatre on July 25, without all the downsides of sharks, jellyfish, pointy sand, dolphins, irresponsible boaters, and the only sand in sight is whatever your ex-girlfriend brought in her vagina.

What we did provide was bikinis, mankinis, inbetweenkinis and a whole lot of goofy pool accessories, delighting a theatre full of pseudo-beachgoers. Let’s be real here: you’re always likely to see some skin at a Los Bastardos show, so why not have some fun with it?

We departed from the theme a little bit for this weeks virgin games in light of this week’s news regarding Hulk Hogan. Several Bastards are very big wrestling fans, and news that Hulk Hogan is actually a racist sack of shit hit us all hard. If, by hit us all hard, you mean “made us laugh uncontrollably in a storm of internet memes.” Naturally, this show’s virgin game had Gus forcing contestants to dotheir best Hulk Hogan impression by tearing off a t-shirt. By the end of the contest one lucky winner walked away with a framed photo of the Hulkster and a t-shirt as dead as his career!

Saturday’s show saw the debut of Jessi as our newest Janet! Despite her young age Jessi is a veteran stage performer, so it was no surprise she took to slutting it up for us like a duck to water. Gus did a great job dragging her along as Brad, but Jessi held her own molesting Baldwin as Rocky and rocked it in the floor show. We can’t wait to see what else she can show us.

Also debuting this past Saturday was Phil Banker as floorwalker. Me. I can’t speak objectively as to how well I did, but I managed to keep a group of about ten drunk 40-year-olds alternating between laughing and groaning for the whole show, so I’ve got comedy skills on par with the average early afternoon Vegas warm up comic. It’s a start!

Crowd favorite Jenny returned as Frank-n-Furter, alongside Brooklyn, Manda and Jon as Columbia, Magenta and Riff-Raff, respectively. Rainbow appeared as everyone’s half-dead rock-and-roll zombie Eddie and Alpha Beard Pete played Dr. Scott complete with his now-trademark body stocking for floor show. It’s a good thing so many people came out in their beach clothes, because everyone went home wet(and for once it wasn’t because of broken A/C in the theatre)!

If you missed out on this show, fret not: we’ve got three shows scheduled before we ship off to New York City in September for Rocky Con. We’ll be at the Texas Theatre at 10:30 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 1, followed by our third show at the Ridglea Theatre in Fort Worth on Aug. 8, complete with a burlesque show beforehand!

Our socks are soaked, but our pants are bone dry: everything’s coming up LB!

0 Photos: July 25th 2015, Inwood Theatre

Photos from our show on July 25th, 2015 at the Ridglea Theatre. … Continue Reading

0 Show Report: June 27th, 2015 Inwood Theatre

Show report by Phil Banker

CAST:
Frank: Jenny
Janet: Megaaaaan
Brad: Ali
Riff: Jon
Magenta: Manda
Columbia: Biondini
Dr. Scott: Gregg
Rocky: Sean
Eddie: Pete
The Criminologist: Phil
Transie Army: Cameron, Kwin, Mason, Jessi, Brooklyn, Christy, Baldwin, Javier
Tech: ‘Merican Dave, Sean, Danny, Madame Leah, Sara, Carrie
Floorwalkers: Jason, Alex

Oh man guys, if you missed this show, you really missed out.

What was originally planned as a normal, run of the mill Rocky show at the Inwood Theatre took on special importance after the events of June 26, when the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of same-sex marriage. Los Bastardos and Rocky casts in general are gay-friendly by default, if not actively recruiting people into non-traditional sexualities. In celebration of love winning out in the end, we gayed it up even harder than normal for this show. We pulled out every piece of rainbow everything we could find, and likely bought out every color of makeup within several miles. It was a glorious display of support for a decision that, much like one of Alex’s orgasms, too far too long to come.

Tonight also saw the debut of the lovely Manda as Magenta, and she absolutely killed it (not killed them, technically that’s still Riff’s job). What a talented, beautiful, amazing, sexy and totally not standing behind me with a large blunt object while I’m writing this woman. Totally.

Sadly, as one person comes into her own in a new role, another leaves. The lovely Heather Biondini played Columbia tonight, in her last show for the foreseeable future. We wish her the best of luck as she steps away to focus on other pursuits. If you just can’t get enough Biondini in your life, go check out Ootori Group Cosplay on Facebook.

The Gay Train packed the Inwood Theatre for this show with a bevy of fans helping us celebrate all those sweet, delicious new marriage rights we’ll never use because we’re all horrible black hearted monsters. Being ever-so-adaptable we were able to fight our way through a few minor technical glitches to bring you the best show you can see on a Saturday night in Dallas. We started the evening with Virgin Games brought to us by the lovely Brooklyn, who managed to find a gaggle of noobs who could finally form a rainbow without speaking to one another (after already being given a second shot, christ they’re thick). Yay, the terrorists (or Greg Abbott) didn’t win!

As the movie began we had initially planned on having all of the same-sex couples in the audience come up as Ralph and Betty for the wedding scene, but we could only find two couples. Hopefully the rest were busy on their hastily-planned honeymoons after Friday’s announcement. Saturday’s show had a little bit of everything: birthday shenanigans for our favorite (and only) Jenny, a brand new Magenta and Jessi’s questionably legal nipples. No better way to celebrate post-Gay Day!

If you feel bad for missing this month’s show… well, you should, it was fantastic. But don’t fret! We’ll be coming back to the Inwood Theatre on July 25! Until then: keep it real, keep it gay and keep it real gay!*

*You know, if that’s what you’re into

0 Photos: June 27th 2015, Inwood Theatre

Photos from our show on June 27th, 2015 at the Inwood Theatre.