THE OFFICIAL RULES AND REGULATIONS OF LOS BASTARDOS:

AKA: “Don’t be a dick.”

Interested in taking the plunge, and selling your soul to Los Bastardos? Great! We love meeting new people! Since I know you are curious (or you would not be here), the skinny on what it takes to be a BASTARD lies below. Aaaaaaaaand yes, there are a lot of “words” and yes, I will require you to actually look at it, but everything basically boils down to 2 very simple concepts…use common sense, and don’t be a dick. If you can handle that, you are well on your way!

YOUR MAGICAL JOURNEY BEGINS BELOW… What you need to consider before you waste your time and our time:

(All these bulletpoints are technically #1, but whatever, you get the point.)

You will be held accountable for reading, understanding, knowing, and abiding by all of the cast rules. “I didn’t know.” is by no means a valid excuse.
You must be at least 18 years old to join and perform with Los Bastardos.
You must have reliable transportation, which does not include “getting rides” from someone already on cast or someone anticipating trying to join cast. Do not even ask.
You must have a reliable internet source. We communicate via online forums and you are expected to read the cast board updates as well as check the board prior to any rehearsals or shows to review for changes. If you have questions or things to discuss you may post them in the appropriate thread. You will have access to everyone’s information but do not under any circumstances give this information out without the person’s prior permission. If you need access, please let me know.
You will be required to pay cast dues every month, as we do not get paid for the show. If Transie, you are required to invest in appropriate attire and make-up.
You must return the signed agreement to rules form when requested.
You understand that your image, likeness, voice, intellectual content, or physical materials you may have manufactured while on this cast for the benefit of the cast (i.e. photos, costumes, props, tech equipment, pre-show entertainment, et cetera) will be utilized for possible promotional, entertainment, or training purposes.
If you live with parents, grandparents, etc., there may not be any interference. As in, getting “grounded” from Rocky or having to clean your room is not an excuse.
You may not have any medical conditions which would prevent you from performing safely. Pretending you are sick all the time or making up ailments is unacceptable.
You will join as either Transie or Tech. Immediate Core positions are not available, regardless of experience. After I am satisfied with your performance on Transie or Tech, you may be asked to understudy another part. This in no way means that you will immediately get to play the part.
You must be willing to work on your part outside of rehearsals and show times, to help advertise, flyer, and commit to other cast functions as required.
Attend all rehearsals, meetings, and shows unless I specifically approve you not to. Do not rely on permission from members of cast, even if they told you “I” said it was ok.
You will not be coddled, rewarded, or patted on the head for everything you do that is basically acceptable or correct. Just like in real life, cast and / or I will not reward you for basic competence or for doing your job (just like everyone else). Everyone is expected to do their best, and not just for attention.
If you have a specific strength, please assume you will be utilized for this strength for cast purposes. Do not complain if you are asked or volun-told to do something if I know you have time and the ability to do so.
Your audition will be to spend a probationary period of time with the cast. Acceptance or rejection will be based upon how well you are picking up the part, how well you get along with the cast, and whether or not we feel you would be an asset to our cast. During your trial, you are required to attend all cast rehearsals, meetings, events, and shows. You need to wear whatever is appropriate for whatever activity is scheduled.

ATTENDANCE & PUNCTUALITY. Los Bastardos requires every Friday and Saturday night from approximately 8:00 p.m. until whenever you are released. This can be anywhere from 11:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m.. Chances are you will not be REQUIRED each Friday and Saturday, but you must be willing to reserve the time if you are serious about joining. Cast calls will be listed on the cast board for each event. If you are going to miss a show or rehearsal, I need to know at least one month ahead of time so that I can make arrangements. If you are ill or have other extenuating circumstances and must call out the day of the show, the cut off time is at 5:00 p.m. the day of the show. If I do not respond, make efforts to get a hold of me and confirm I received the message. Two times of flaking out, being late, or failing to adhere to this policy and you will be suspended.
CONTRIBUTION, COMMITTING TO A TASK, & UNPRODUCTIVITY. If you have a relevant opinion about something, speak up. I want to hear new thoughts and ideas for the show, or things you think might be good for fundraising and etc. Volunteer to do things, such as taking flyers to new locations, or helping make prop packs even if you aren’t asked to. The cast and Rocky in general will always continue to grow and evolve, so if there is a new way to do something we might try it. Be positive and constructive rather than complain that things shouldn’t change. Likewise, if you volunteer to do something, follow through with it fully. Also, I should NEVER see anyone doing NOTHING during Pre-Show and Post-Show. If you have questions on how to help, ask.
POLITICS. I lay down rules, administer punishment as appropriate, and have final say on everything. I am straightforward and if standards are not met I will say it. This is not me being “mean” or jumping on you, this is me being honest about observances in that I feel you need improvement and know you can accomplish the task if you set your mind to it. If you cannot deal with reality or take direction, this is not the cast for you. If you feel my decision is unfair we can discuss it privately but I do not tolerate insolence, laziness, or entitlement. Please do not feel inhibited to talk to me, as I will do anything in my power to help you succeed.
RESPECT. This cast serves as a family to many and we treat it as such. Even though disagreements are inevitable, be cordial and have respect for one another while on cast time. Do not talk down to or act disrespectfully towards one another. If you have an issue with someone/something, please talk to me. I expect respect from you, and give the same in return.
DRAMA. Drama: fighting with other cast members or audience members, breaking rules just to cause problems (respect, drugs, etc.), doing things to intentionally piss people off, gossiping, stabbing other cast members in the back, trying to steal other cast members partners, being a cast or audience whore, getting involved in other peoples’ business, not doing your job, mocking or slandering, trolling, purposefully creating additional chats to talk shit about others, talking about cast business with non-cast, and countless other things I could list. Bottom line: do not start it. If you have differing opinions or issues to discuss with another cast member, it does not need to occur in front of the audience or the theatre staff. Calm down, act like an adult, and take it elsewhere. Rocky has enough drama, and we do not need more bullshit. All participation in drama accomplishes is showing your unprofessionalism.
PERSONAL SPACE. Rocky is a place that can be sexual in nature. This does not mean you have the right to feel up and rub all over audience members or cast. Not all people are comfortable with other people touching them. If someone asks you to stop, STOP! If it is obvious that you are making them uncomfortable, back up. If you are violating their personal space, discontinue doing so. People often will not tell you, so always be mindful.
ATTITUDE. Do not whine, complain to others, or act like an ass if you do not get your way. It is unprofessional and also extremely irritating. If you have a legitimate problem please let me know and we will discuss it privately.
HYGIENE. Yes, I have to go here. Common sense of decency: please bathe with soap, wash and comb your hair, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, and wear clean clothes to rehearsals, events, and the show.
BE WHERE I CAN FIND YOU. I need an updated cell phone number and email address for you at all times. Respond promptly if I ask a question and do not wander off once you are at the theatre.
ALCOHOL & DRUGS. DO NOT show up under the influence of anything. You will reflect badly upon this cast and our theatre, and I will NOT tolerate this. If I find you are under the influence of anything and it is affecting your performance, you will be suspended.
COSTUMES & MAKEUP. You must have your own costume and makeup before you perform. This includes all full costumes, makeup, accessories, and shoes. You will not be allowed on stage if your costume is not fit for professional performance.
FLOORWALKERS & SCREAMERS. The only persons allowed to floorwalk during the show are Floorwalkers. Do not interrupt pre-show unless pre-arranged and pre-approved.
TECH. If a Tech asks for assistance, please assist immediately. They will not ask unless they need it.
TAKING LIBERTIES WITH YOUR CHARACTER. Before you even consider trying to do something different with your character, you should know it well enough to do it in your sleep. Clear everything with me before you are on stage.
CAST ONLY MEANS CAST ONLY. Only cast is allowed at rehearsals, cast meetings, and cast functions. Do not bring your friends or significant others, as they are in no way obligated to follow cast rules yet they appear to represent us. Do not try to act like hot shit or shirk your cast duties to impress people who you have an interest in while on cast time.
SEX. Sex is not allowed on cast time or on the venue’s property at any time for any reason. This includes rehearsals, show times, events, or any other designated cast time. Any offense will result in termination.
ONLINE FORUMS. We have several online forums for advertisement and communication purposes. Join the public and cast boards and please utilize them responsibly and civilly. Make sure you have access to, can post in, and have notifications turned on for the cast board.
CAST DUES. You must pay cast dues while on cast. They are $10 per month and due at the beginning of each month. If you are delinquent 2 months or more, you will be suspended until dues are paid in full up through the end of that month.
CHALLENGING ME WITH INTENT TO ARGUE. Do not do it. Do not try to start problems just because you can. Do not argue about something just for the sake of arguing about it.
CAST MEETINGS. Cast meetings are after each show and at some rehearsals. All cast must attend, participate, and pay attention during cast meetings. In the meeting, we discuss business and all other things which are important to our cast. This is not the time to pick fights, whine about wanting to go home, how you have to get up early tomorrow, etc. as it will simply irritate the rest of us and make meetings even longer. If there are special circumstances where you may have to leave early one day, I must know in advance – not right before the meeting. Due to consistent abuse of the allowance of cell phones during meeting, they will no longer be allowed during cast meeting.
INSULTING THE AUDIENCE. Do not be hateful to the audience as it turns our fans away. If I find you culpable the penalty is immediate suspension. Alternatively, if audience is rude to you or about our show, there is no need to argue (and therefore potentially lose audience or receive bad reviews). Apologize for any offense and seek assistance as needed.
NON-ROCKY PATRONS & LOBBY BEHAVIOR. The theatre will have non-Rocky clientele as well. Our job as a professional organization is to keep them coming back, as respect and courtesy is due to all patrons. If we act unsuitably and run people off it not only lessens the theatre’s profits, at times turns non-Rocky patrons into Rocky-hating people, and makes us look unprofessional. Honor all theatre staff and police requests. Keep the lobby clear and the line quiet. Unacceptable conduct is grounds for immediate dismissal and includes but is not limited to inappropriate language, distasteful or attention-seeking behavior, unsuitable personal contact, lack of rational modesty, “scaring”, irritating, goading, or otherwise insulting patrons. If patrons are rude to you or about our show, please let it go as all persons see Rocky differently and there is no need to argue (and therefore potentially lose audience or receive bad reviews) over differing tastes. Apologize for any offense and seek assistance as needed.
CAST BUSINESS. Under no circumstances are you allowed to discuss cast business or repeat cast discussions (via any medium) with individuals who are not on cast. This includes friends, roommates, family, family, audience, online buddies, etc.
LEAVING CAST. If you leave / wish to go on hiatus for whatever reason, please let me know ahead of time. All cast items and costumes must be returned to me prior to your departure. If you leave cast and owe cast dues, if you return you will be required to pay all back dues. Approved return to cast is upon my sole discretion and based on a number of factors.

OTHER RULES. Just because it is not officially a rule does not mean that you will not get punished if you do something stupid. Please use discretion and be professional. Think before you do things, and it will not be a problem.

PUNISHMENTS. Punishment will be determinable by the severity of the action(s). If you break a rule, you will be dealt with accordingly.

Know that although being on cast is a lot of work, it is not always JUST work. We have a LOT of fun, or else we would not spend eons of our lives on Los Bastardos. Take this time to mingle, make friends, and see the show from a different angle. Thank you for taking the time to read and to think about joining us!

STILL HERE??? EMAIL OR MESSAGE ME TO JOIN! Losbastardoscast@Gmail.com or send us a message on Facebook. I look forward to talking to you! GOOD LUCK!!