Show Report by Jason
If it’s early June and we smell like sweat and ramen, then it must be A-Kon! This year, the crowd was amazing, as we came very close to having to turn people away for a room that looked like it seats…600? 700? Over 9000? The line started before we even showed up with our trailer, and at least a third of the audience was there by the time doors opened. We had an hour of video goodness that you seemed to enjoy, and then it was time for some preshow. Alex threw his back out (probably from all that pussy he’s crushing), so Madame Leah made a rare non-announcements appearance to do rules with me. That’s her being super excited about how offensive the show is! (In the photos, this is a reference to the 600+ photos we uploaded) Sean came up to put our virgins through our favorite A-Kon game: fake the orgasm of whatever you’re dressed as! We had two terrible awful weaaaaaak orgasms…and then we had two amazing epic sexy ones! Then I got to see a crowd go absolutel apeshit over a framed photo of the Kool-Aid Man being given away as a prize. Good job, audience.
After all that, it was showtime! But since this is a special convention for fans of anime, we decided to honor (read: pander) the audience and do a special version of our lineup. Yes, it was an All Anime Theme Show! (mostly) Here was the lineup:
Frank: Jenny (Emporio Ivankov)
You know how Frank gets shot with a laser? Jenny got shot with the sickness laser, so she showed up but was unable to perform. She helped people with makeup though, because nothing keeps Jenny all the way down! So instead we had:
Frank: Snowflake (nothing)
Well, he was a very last minute replacement, so he didn’t have a costume. Wait, hold on!
Frank: Snowflake (Ditto, copying Frank)
Janet: Biondini (Sailor Moon)
Brad: Ali (Tuxedo Mask)
Riff Raff: Gus (James of Team Rocket)
Magenta: Megaaaan (Jesse of Team Rocket)
Columbia: Brooklyn (Chibi Moon)
Dr Scott: Gregg (Genma)
Rocky: Baldwin (Vegeta…NOT GOKU)
Eddie: Pete (Lordgenome)
Crimmie: Sean (In a constant state of Sailor tranformation)
Transies (In order of how hard they worked on their costumes: Manda (Magikarp!), Jessi (Jigglypuff), Jon (Tyranitar), Haley (Togepi), Cameron/Mason/Kwin/Fleep (“Pikachu/Mudkip/Charmander/Squirtle), Sims (Absent), Henry (Snorlax)
Florwalkers: Jason, Minion, and Jeremy (came back to help/were there and wanted to help)
Tech, sound, and props: Carrie, Danny, ‘Merican Dave, Joe, Sara, Phil, Brent, and Madame Leah
This show was insane! Extra costumes, extra props, extra makeup, and hella wigs. Wigs in Texas in June! So, appreciate THAT! Brad and Janet came out to get married, but they were whatever Sailor Moon’s normal name is, and then the other one. The one dressed like AC Slater. Then, because real costume changes are harder than a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence, Brad and Janet in the car were played by Columbia and No One, and the windshield wipers were played by Magenta and Kinda Me. Thankfully, everyone got their outfits on fleek and Brad and Janet made it to the Denton City Gym…umm, the Dr. Frankenstein Place. Blue Haired Riff answered the door, then Red Haired Magenta threw a duster at him, and then POKE TIME WARP!!! Seriously, just look at the photos of Mandakarp, and imagine how great it was to see in motion. We’ll have video up eventually, maybe, but imagine it anyway! IMAGINE IT! Columbia with giant pink hair and a tiny hat! The hat! It was smaller than usual!
At some point, Leah took off her pants and was running around in tank top and panties. And you missed it.
Snowflake was a Sweet Transvestite, and really you can change up all kinds of things about Rocky Horror, but Classic Frank is unbeatable. Plus, he has a Deadpool tattoo, hasn’t he suffered enough? And Naruto! Ali had adorable rose pasties (because Ali is a girl, and also Tuxedo Mask), and Frank activated the Hyperbolic Time Chamber so that Vegeta (NOT GOKU) could achieve Super Saiyan levels. Although, his T-cell count is under 9000. Just when Frank was about to get his hands on two more Dragonballs (innuendo!), Lordgenome came out on his Motorcyclenn and fucked shit up. He chased those Pokemon around until they were all out of PP (You can’t ride your bike there!) and then lifted up the Columbia that would pierce the heavens.
Riff Raff did some really uncomfortable grinding on Vegeta. Really uncomfortable. Probably spawned three new Tumblr hashtags too. A lucky audience member, cosplaying Frank n Furter, won our lesbian raffle and got to be in a Maggie/Columbia sammich. And Columbia had a kigurumi on in a hot room, so you KNOW that had to be TANGY. Dr. Scott/Genma came out looking for Ranma, but stayed away from whatever temperature of water would have turned him into a panda, because IT WAS SO HOT. Candy was had and flung by all. Everyone changed into dfifferent outfits for floor show, and then Frank got all hot and emotional, and then they all jumped in the pool, and everyone got aroused/disturbed by Sailor Moon and Chibi Moon getting all handsy with each other. But Magikarp hopped in the pool too, and used Splash! It was not very effective.
Instead of Riff and Maggie busting in with spacesuits, it was full on Team Rocket, complete with Team Rocket taunts that you couldn’t hear because the crowd was going too apeshit. Except the very last line, which Gus forgot, and is not “OH FUCK!”. For the record. Frank got shot, Columbia got shot, Rocky sprayed his mouth so he could arrive in Valhalla all shiny and chrome. And got shot. Sailor Sean brought it all home, and that was it! Another A-Kon show in the bag. Tote bag. With underage lingerie schoolgirls on it. Full of plush figures of sushi or frogs or something.
Next show: June 27th at the Inwood! Check us out!