June | 2015 |

0 Show Report: June 27th, 2015 Inwood Theatre

Show report by Phil Banker

CAST:
Frank: Jenny
Janet: Megaaaaan
Brad: Ali
Riff: Jon
Magenta: Manda
Columbia: Biondini
Dr. Scott: Gregg
Rocky: Sean
Eddie: Pete
The Criminologist: Phil
Transie Army: Cameron, Kwin, Mason, Jessi, Brooklyn, Christy, Baldwin, Javier
Tech: ‘Merican Dave, Sean, Danny, Madame Leah, Sara, Carrie
Floorwalkers: Jason, Alex

Oh man guys, if you missed this show, you really missed out.

What was originally planned as a normal, run of the mill Rocky show at the Inwood Theatre took on special importance after the events of June 26, when the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of same-sex marriage. Los Bastardos and Rocky casts in general are gay-friendly by default, if not actively recruiting people into non-traditional sexualities. In celebration of love winning out in the end, we gayed it up even harder than normal for this show. We pulled out every piece of rainbow everything we could find, and likely bought out every color of makeup within several miles. It was a glorious display of support for a decision that, much like one of Alex’s orgasms, too far too long to come.

Tonight also saw the debut of the lovely Manda as Magenta, and she absolutely killed it (not killed them, technically that’s still Riff’s job). What a talented, beautiful, amazing, sexy and totally not standing behind me with a large blunt object while I’m writing this woman. Totally.

Sadly, as one person comes into her own in a new role, another leaves. The lovely Heather Biondini played Columbia tonight, in her last show for the foreseeable future. We wish her the best of luck as she steps away to focus on other pursuits. If you just can’t get enough Biondini in your life, go check out Ootori Group Cosplay on Facebook.

The Gay Train packed the Inwood Theatre for this show with a bevy of fans helping us celebrate all those sweet, delicious new marriage rights we’ll never use because we’re all horrible black hearted monsters. Being ever-so-adaptable we were able to fight our way through a few minor technical glitches to bring you the best show you can see on a Saturday night in Dallas. We started the evening with Virgin Games brought to us by the lovely Brooklyn, who managed to find a gaggle of noobs who could finally form a rainbow without speaking to one another (after already being given a second shot, christ they’re thick). Yay, the terrorists (or Greg Abbott) didn’t win!

As the movie began we had initially planned on having all of the same-sex couples in the audience come up as Ralph and Betty for the wedding scene, but we could only find two couples. Hopefully the rest were busy on their hastily-planned honeymoons after Friday’s announcement. Saturday’s show had a little bit of everything: birthday shenanigans for our favorite (and only) Jenny, a brand new Magenta and Jessi’s questionably legal nipples. No better way to celebrate post-Gay Day!

If you feel bad for missing this month’s show… well, you should, it was fantastic. But don’t fret! We’ll be coming back to the Inwood Theatre on July 25! Until then: keep it real, keep it gay and keep it real gay!*

*You know, if that’s what you’re into

0 Photos: June 27th 2015, Inwood Theatre

Photos from our show on June 27th, 2015 at the Inwood Theatre.

1 Training Rockys isn’t easy

Training Rockys is all about making sure they know who the Alpha is. But you won’t have to drill into amber to find their DNA. June 27th at the Inwood, we’ll be putting the Ass back in Jurassic, so get your tickets, put on your best jungle gear (or all black, if math is your thing), and drive your jeep to Dallas!

0 Photos: Jun 6 2015, A-KON

Photos from AKON 2015

0 Show Report: A-Kon 26, June 6, 2015

Show Report by Jason

If it’s early June and we smell like sweat and ramen, then it must be A-Kon! This year, the crowd was amazing, as we came very close to having to turn people away for a room that looked like it seats…600? 700? Over 9000? The line started before we even showed up with our trailer, and at least a third of the audience was there by the time doors opened. We had an hour of video goodness that you seemed to enjoy, and then it was time for some preshow. Alex threw his back out (probably from all that pussy he’s crushing), so Madame Leah made a rare non-announcements appearance to do rules with me. That’s her being super excited about how offensive the show is! (In the photos, this is a reference to the 600+ photos we uploaded) Sean came up to put our virgins through our favorite A-Kon game: fake the orgasm of whatever you’re dressed as! We had two terrible awful weaaaaaak orgasms…and then we had two amazing epic sexy ones! Then I got to see a crowd go absolutel apeshit over a framed photo of the Kool-Aid Man being given away as a prize. Good job, audience.

After all that, it was showtime! But since this is a special convention for fans of anime, we decided to honor (read: pander) the audience and do a special version of our lineup. Yes, it was an All Anime Theme Show! (mostly) Here was the lineup:
Frank: Jenny (Emporio Ivankov)
You know how Frank gets shot with a laser? Jenny got shot with the sickness laser, so she showed up but was unable to perform. She helped people with makeup though, because nothing keeps Jenny all the way down! So instead we had:
Frank: Snowflake (nothing)
Well, he was a very last minute replacement, so he didn’t have a costume. Wait, hold on!
Frank: Snowflake (Ditto, copying Frank)
Boom!!!
Janet: Biondini (Sailor Moon)
Brad: Ali (Tuxedo Mask)
Riff Raff: Gus (James of Team Rocket)
Magenta: Megaaaan (Jesse of Team Rocket)
Columbia: Brooklyn (Chibi Moon)
Dr Scott: Gregg (Genma)
Rocky: Baldwin (Vegeta…NOT GOKU)
Eddie: Pete (Lordgenome)
Crimmie: Sean (In a constant state of Sailor tranformation)
Transies (In order of how hard they worked on their costumes: Manda (Magikarp!), Jessi (Jigglypuff), Jon (Tyranitar), Haley (Togepi), Cameron/Mason/Kwin/Fleep (“Pikachu/Mudkip/Charmander/Squirtle), Sims (Absent), Henry (Snorlax)
Florwalkers: Jason, Minion, and Jeremy (came back to help/were there and wanted to help)
Tech, sound, and props: Carrie, Danny, ‘Merican Dave, Joe, Sara, Phil, Brent, and Madame Leah
This show was insane! Extra costumes, extra props, extra makeup, and hella wigs. Wigs in Texas in June! So, appreciate THAT! Brad and Janet came out to get married, but they were whatever Sailor Moon’s normal name is, and then the other one. The one dressed like AC Slater. Then, because real costume changes are harder than a Magical Girl Transformation Sequence, Brad and Janet in the car were played by Columbia and No One, and the windshield wipers were played by Magenta and Kinda Me. Thankfully, everyone got their outfits on fleek and Brad and Janet made it to the Denton City Gym…umm, the Dr. Frankenstein Place. Blue Haired Riff answered the door, then Red Haired Magenta threw a duster at him, and then POKE TIME WARP!!! Seriously, just look at the photos of Mandakarp, and imagine how great it was to see in motion. We’ll have video up eventually, maybe, but imagine it anyway! IMAGINE IT! Columbia with giant pink hair and a tiny hat! The hat! It was smaller than usual!
At some point, Leah took off her pants and was running around in tank top and panties. And you missed it.
Snowflake was a Sweet Transvestite, and really you can change up all kinds of things about Rocky Horror, but Classic Frank is unbeatable. Plus, he has a Deadpool tattoo, hasn’t he suffered enough? And Naruto! Ali had adorable rose pasties (because Ali is a girl, and also Tuxedo Mask), and Frank activated the Hyperbolic Time Chamber so that Vegeta (NOT GOKU) could achieve Super Saiyan levels. Although, his T-cell count is under 9000. Just when Frank was about to get his hands on two more Dragonballs (innuendo!), Lordgenome came out on his Motorcyclenn and fucked shit up. He chased those Pokemon around until they were all out of PP (You can’t ride your bike there!) and then lifted up the Columbia that would pierce the heavens.
Riff Raff did some really uncomfortable grinding on Vegeta. Really uncomfortable. Probably spawned three new Tumblr hashtags too. A lucky audience member, cosplaying Frank n Furter, won our lesbian raffle and got to be in a Maggie/Columbia sammich. And Columbia had a kigurumi on in a hot room, so you KNOW that had to be TANGY. Dr. Scott/Genma came out looking for Ranma, but stayed away from whatever temperature of water would have turned him into a panda, because IT WAS SO HOT. Candy was had and flung by all. Everyone changed into dfifferent outfits for floor show, and then Frank got all hot and emotional, and then they all jumped in the pool, and everyone got aroused/disturbed by Sailor Moon and Chibi Moon getting all handsy with each other. But Magikarp hopped in the pool too, and used Splash! It was not very effective.
Instead of Riff and Maggie busting in with spacesuits, it was full on Team Rocket, complete with Team Rocket taunts that you couldn’t hear because the crowd was going too apeshit. Except the very last line, which Gus forgot, and is not “OH FUCK!”. For the record. Frank got shot, Columbia got shot, Rocky sprayed his mouth so he could arrive in Valhalla all shiny and chrome. And got shot. Sailor Sean brought it all home, and that was it! Another A-Kon show in the bag. Tote bag. With underage lingerie schoolgirls on it. Full of plush figures of sushi or frogs or something.
Next show: June 27th at the Inwood! Check us out!

0 Photos: May 30 2015, Inwood Theatre- Rocky Prom

Photos from our show on May 3, 2015 at the Inwood Theatre, Rocky Prom!

0 Photos: May 30 2015, Inwood Theater- Audiene Prom Photos

Photos of our audience from the show on May 3, 2015 at the Inwood Theatre, Rocky Prom!