Show Report: February 22nd 2014 – Trashy Lingerie Night!
Heeeeeeeeey Kids! So, you may have noticed we were silent for the last 30 hours or so. Well, the last six was “We went to Ol South after the show for breakfast and I got home around 7am and needed to go into a breakfast burrito coma (this is Jason, hi!)”, but the 24 hours before that were because a couple of our saucy promotional photos for this show were SOOOOOOO SEXY
“HOW SEXY WERE THEY?”
They were so sexy that someone couldn’t take it and reported them to Facebook, lest their sexuality and the sexuality of their 28 cats and/or 45 stacks of rotting newspapers be threatenened by our pulsating waves of testosterone. So, for the future, if you see something on our page that worries you…SEND US A MESSAGE!!! Holy shit, we love being tolerant and we will likely a) Take it down or b) Have an adult discourse with you about it. Thank you for not snitching.
So, thank you for helping promote the show, telling your friends, whatever it is you did, because last night we were PACKED!!! So so so many sexy people. And a shitload of you were lingerie’d out, which tells us that the advertising blitz worked…or you were going to wear lingerie anyway because it’s Rocky Horror and that’s what you do. AND EITHER OPTION IS FINE WITH US. We can make every show a lingerie show, Pete and Jon have a million photos left over, and we will never get tired of you being more naked around us. So, who was last night’s cast?
Frank was Leah, Janet was Renny, Brad was Danny, Riff Raff was Jon (Hair so short), Magenta was Eris (newly married, way to go putting that shit on LOCK), Columbia was Jenny (SO SPARKLE), Dr. Scott was Pete (Birthday boy), Rocky was Snowflake, Eddie was Cody, and Crimmie was Sean.
You may have noticed some new painted faces trying to separate you from your money and your panties from that place you pee from. That’s because some of our new Transies were finally show ready, and we put their young unspoiled asses to WORK. Brooklyn, Michael, and Rainbow joined our OLD Transies Amira, June, Nikcola, and Sims. Technical assistance was provided by Kristin, David, and Gregg. Floorwalking was bellowed out by Jason, Alex, Cody, and Sean, so if you laughed at someone yelling something while you were trying to concentrate on your orgy, you’re welcome.
Show started with some sexy lingerie dancing on stage, courtesy of some hot audience members and some hot cast members, mingling and getting all sweaty and shiiiiiit. Actually, it started with our VIP seating, a new science innovation where you can use money to avoid the hard work of getting here early and standing in line. For $5, you can drink and drink and drink or show up at 11:50, and get to have first crack at the best seats (like the ones close to where cast members crawl on you, or the ones not saturated with gin farts from the people who thought Pompeii sounded like a good way to kill two hours). Yes, this show report is so long, we have commercials. Fuck it, that money goes to things like fixing the tank and the jukebox, or buying fancy LED spotlights, or booze for next month’s All-Con party (hold that thought).
So dancing occurs, then Amira and I play a fun surprise on Alex by replacing our scheduled walk-in music with Weird Al’s “Living With A Hernia”, because Alex has a hernia, and making fun of old people’s injuries is hilarious. Rules rules rules, then Leah sashayed up for announcements, where she talked abouuuuuuuuut:
It’s March 13th-16th, and it’s the best party weekend of the year! We perform on Friday March 14th, and afterwards we throw a kickass suite partry with legitimate liquor and snacks and jello shots and music and a lot of sweaty tired people in cosplays crammed into a room, dancing and drinking and grinding and remembering “Oh hey, I have a hotel room right down the hall and we should use it to practice making babies on your face”. The badges are cheap compared to other cons, and Alex has two panels about surviving a zombie apocolypse (Hint, be friends with Daryl) that you should attend! www.all-con-org for more details or pictures of girls.
The show started (after I made everybody repeat the Law and Order opening monologue with me, yay me), and then events OCCURED. Mostly movie based: some audience members got married (Note, those marriage photos are legally binding, so I hope you knew each other going into to the show), Brad and Janet sang about liking each other like white people do, then they got in a car and broke it. Jon’s springy hair (he looks like Kim Coles from “Living Single”) greeted them, and then everybody got up and Warped Time in a musical fashion. Leah’s sexy ass bounced around (literally bounced, those uptops make the boners pop and the panties drop) with HAIR ERRRRRRYWHERE, then she scienced up a boytoy, but then Cody came out and lifted Jenny straight up like an impression of the boners that her body was causing. Then things kinda mellowed out for a bit, and people started updating their Candy Crush apps…I mean, we gave them candy and then they thought about smoking soon. Then the rest of the movie happened…floor show, dancing, killing off the expendables, the speech from Taken, throwing things, and then taking a bow. And jokes. And post-show smoking. And some more people want to be on cast, cause we want more people, and you want to spend your Fridays and Saturday nights with uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!
Thanks to all the birthdays we had in the house, thanks to all the lingerie people who shows up (boys and girls), thanks in advance for everyone who comes to see us at All-Con March 14th and at the Inwood March 22nd, thanks to everyone who liked and commented on our lingerie photos for making us feel sexy and loved (and give us the attention we desparately crave), thanks to the amazing audience – you were loud and you laughed and you gave us money and you hugged us after the show! See you in March, peace out! *mic drop*