0 Photos from 10-29-2011

0 Show Report: Oct 28th 2011. Halloween at the Inwood part 1

Show report for Friday October 28th

Halloween at the Inwood Pt. 1

Report by Jason

Must stay awake…must submit show report before I sleep and forget everything. First off, the lineup:

Frank: Britt
Janet: Ashley
Brad: Wes
Riff Raff: Gus
Magenta: Bizah
Columbia: Madame Leah
Dr. Scott: Pete
Rocky: Sean
Eddie: Charles
Crimmie: Eris
Transies: Heather, Hary, Snowflake, London, Keely, Jon, Lyndi, and Megaaaan!!!
Floorwalkers: Jason, Cody, Jeremy, and David
Tech/Sound/Props: Danny, James, Austin, Paul, Jeremy, Sean, and Madame Leah

First off, the Inwood kicks ass. ALL THE ASS. The management has been hella nice to us, they love Rocky and Rocky people. Plus, the room where we perform is full of couches and love seats. Comfy ass furniture, and Nutsacks (Lovesacs, actually), so everyone had their own private cuddle party going on. We got a little of a late start getting the audience seated, but we have a LOT of stuff to set up, plus Johnny Depp should have made a shorter fucking flick. Luckily, we’ve got some patient peeps (and we had their money), so we got everybody in and immediately dancing. We can’t have Halloween without some preshows though, so we had the Bastard Boys doing “Soccer Practice” (always popular/gay), and then Madame Leah channeled her inner Ke$ha (which I think is done by not washing your cooch for a week or two) along with Snow and Cody for “Cannibal”. After that, I Nyan Cat’d my way on stage to do rules with Charles. Madame Leah was getting all sexed up to play Columbia, so that meant the triumphant return of Triple Fake Leah for announcements. Then it was time for our Halloween costume contest, in which Zombie Snow White won a squeaker over an Eskim-ho and a I don’t remember I’m tired dammit. Lyndi made some virgins play theHuman Centipede variation of Suck the Cream out of the Twinkie, which is as horrible and scarring as it sounds. We got the movie started, and it happened.

Holy balls, you people were loud. Which is awesome. People were firing out all kinds of screamer lines, clapping, shouting, Time Warping, and checking out my ass (You know who you are). It’s amazing how much closer you can get to the audience when everybody’s all sacked out in some comfy ass couches. Toilet paper flew like the birds of Capistrano. We found toast EVERYWHERE. During bedroom scene, Frank went spelunking in Brad’s ass, and found all kinds of loot. None of it purple though. Remembering things is harrrrrrrd. There were hot girls rubbing up on each other for Toucha. That was awesome. And Megaaaan was here from Austin! We love her! And um…Leah had what was maybe a new floorshow corset, and her boobs were all kinds of trying to escape from it. And Charles did the lift with her, and held her up straight for like a minute, trying to shake her tits out of her top like he was getting the last bit of ketchup out of the bottle. And then everybody went to Ol South except the three of us who had to go back to Denton, cause driving that far out of the way suuuuuuuucks. 😦 But I got Whataburger. Honey BBQ chicken strip sammich for the goddamn win.

0 Photos from 10-28-2011

0 Photos from 10-22-11 Frisco Discovery Arts Center

0 Photos from 10-21-11

0 Show Report: Oct 15 2011. Frisco Show #2

Show report for Saturday October 15th

Frisco Show #2

Report by Jason

Frank: Wes
Janet: Ashley
Brad: Cody
Riff Raff: Gussie
Magenta: Bizah
Columbia: Lyndi
Dr. Scott: Pete
Rocky: Britt
Eddie: Jeremy
Crimmie: Eris
Transies: James, Madame Leah, Keely, Jon, and Snowflake
Tech/Sound/Props: Paul, Daviid, Danny, Jeremy, Nuggett, and James
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, and Sean

First off, and most importantly: GOOOOOOOO RANGERS!!!!!!!! As we were all driving to the show, the Rangers hammered the Tigers to win the ALCS and go to the World Series for the second year in a row. This message was brought to you by Danny, James, Nuggett, Gus, and Jason, aka the only people at the show who care about sports.

Now, to the show. From the lineup above, you may have noticed that we were low on Transies. Well, we were hit by the illness/employment bug Saturday night, but each Transie (including a returning James!!!) did the work of eight Transies, so it was like having 40 Transies on stage without the problem of 40 people sharing a dressing room. Which, by the way, the Frisco Arts Center has a sweet dressing room. We can get all naked and made up without having to dodge theater patrons who want to poop. It’s a good thing.

Preshow was me (Jason) and Madame Leah, who everyone loves to see talking more. I demanded juice boxes during rules, and I have yet to recieve one. *madface* Lyndi made some virgins (including an actual virginal virgin) play Gay Chicken, to hilarious results. The virginal virgin was damn cute too, so maybe she won’t stay a virgin for long. Unless she wants to stay one, which is totally okay, cause sex is weird and scary and sometimes it’s with Wes.

Speaking of Wes, he pulled double Frank duty this weekend, which is taxing enough as is. Then Sean bit his weiner, which is just as painful as it sounds like it would be. We had a great crowd, some hot hot ladies were putting the goods on display for us, both before and during the show. Mmm…the goods…

We got some audience girls into the show too, with one lovely redhead in between Bizah and Lyndi for Toucha, and a couple of gorgeous gals to help out during dinner scene. Come to the show, show off your rack, and get to be part of the experience; ain’t nothing wrong with that.

We all had a great time this weekend, and the best part is, we’ve got two more weekends of back-to-back shows coming up. One more weekend in Frisco (Oct 21st and 22nd), and then the Inwood Theater Oct 28th and 29th. Come to any of the four shows, or preferably all of them!

0 Show Report: Oct 14 2011. Frisco Show # 1

Show report for Friday October 14th

Frisco Show #1

Report by Jason

So after a long layoff, we’re back in business. What’s Halloween season without your favorite mostly naked band of misfits? This year, we’re breaking new ground and popping Frisco’s cherry. Frisco has a swank new performing arts center, and they invited us to come out and do a few shows…you know, for the children. Los Bastardos is for the children. It’s a very nice facility, with air conditioning and dressing rooms and a nice big backstage area. We may just have to lock ourselves in and refuse to ever leave.

So, the lineup:

Frank: Wes
Janet: Ashley
Brad: Cody
Riff Raff: Gus
Magenta: Eris
Columbia: Lyndi
Dr. Scott: Pete
Rocky: Britt
Eddie: Jeremy
Crimmie: Sean
Transies: Hary, Heather, Jon, London, Madame Leah, and Snowflake
Tech/Sound/Props: Daviid, James, Paul, Austin, Danny, Donna, and Nuggett
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, and Sean

First off, once again this was an awesome venue. Secondly, it was great to see so many of our regulars come out to support us at our Frisco debut! That included some old cast members (because you can quit, but you can never leave) who came out to say hi and rub their bottom on us. Preshow featured some rockin tunes and a lot of people dancing in the wide open stage area. See, we’re in what’s known as a “Black Box” theater (aka, the most hilarious of all possible names for a theater), so the audience is seated on three walls, then we perform on the fourth wall, and there’s a big space in the middle suitable for roller derby or crisco twister. Jason and Jeremy kicked off preshow with a spirited reading of the rules, then Lyndi scarred some Friscoites (Friscans? Friskies?) by making them orally slide condoms on bananas. A good lesson…you don’t want any surprise banana babies.

Movie starts, and it was business as usual. The business of face-rocking, that is. Ashley found out that the stage floor is a little more slippery than the dried soda goo we’re used to. Wes has eaten a sandwich or two since we last performed, so you should come and see what he looks like with a pooch. That’s a fetish somewhere. Sean was Strippin’ Crimmie (an LB tradition, apparently) and Eris and Gus and Lyndi were a happy whiteface family.

I’m not gonna lie, I was surprised at how well the performance went. We’ve been idle for a few months, but apparently people have the ability to watch the movie at home, on some kind of magical disk system. Voodoo, says I. Last night was silky smooth, and tonight (I assume everyone is reading this between 5am and 11pm on Saturday, October 15th) will be even better somehow. The venue is really sweet, and whether you’re a local or coming in from the Dallas suburbs (or hell, go nuts and make the drive from Ft Worth), you’re going to have a great time. IN YOUR PANTS